Sad old Essex girl jokes

[Mad_Clubber]

Q: What's an Essex girls favorite wine?

A: aw go-on take me to lakeside please please go-on take me

Q: What's an Essex Girls form of protection?

A: Bus Shelters

Q: What's the difference between an Essex Girl and a Bag of Crisps?

A: You only get one bang out of a bag of crisps

Q: How may Essex girls does it take to make chocolate chip cookies?.

A: Five. One to make the mixture and Four to peel the Smarties.

Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and a washing machine?

A: A washing machine doesn't follow you around for weeks after you've dumped your load in it.

Q: What does an Essex girl say after sex?

A: "Do you really all play for the same football team?"

Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an ironing board?

A: An ironing boards legs are difficult to part.

Q: What's the difference between an Essex girl and an Essex boy?

A: An Essex girl has a higher sperm count.

Q: What does an Essex girl put behind her ears to make her more attractive?

A: Her feet.

Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and a plate of spaghetti?

A: Spaghetti moves when you eat it.

Q: What does an Essex girl do with her [censored] after sex?

A: She takes him down the pub.

Q: What makes an Essex girls eyes light up?

A: A torch shone in her ear.

Q: How do you know when an Essex girl's had an orgasm?

A: She drops her bag of chips.

Q: What is the difference between an Essex girl and the Titanic?

A: Only 1500 went down on the Titanic.

Q: What is the difference between a supermarket trolley and an Essex girl?

A: A supermarket trolley has a mind of it's own.

An Essex girl is driving along and asks her boyfriend to kiss her somewhere warm, wet and smelly.

He tells her that it's to late to drive to Canvey Island.

Q: What do an Essex girl and President Gorbachev have in common?

A: They both get [censored] by eight men on holiday.

Q: Why do Essex Girls wear knickers?

A: To keep their ankles warm

Q: How does an Essex girl get light?

A: Open a car door.

Q: How does an Essex girl turn the light off after sex?

A: She closes the car door

[Hardhousehunnij]

[Daredevil Tony]

 

Going to work each day in Essex is one big joke when you see the birdage on the high street at lunch time!

[Claire DC]

[Clubbing Si]

lmao sweet

[Dani Babyboo]

oi u cheeky gits im livin in bloody essex now

[Mad_Clubber]

But do you class yourself as an Essex girl?

[Dani Babyboo]

i dont associate myself as bein anything like them but i get called an essex bird now by si

[Clubbing Si]

lying gipsy - u said the other nite how ure accent has changed to fit in!

 

u live in essex and u r a bird....

[Dani Babyboo]

i am not lying i say im not a bird u call me an essex bird now

 

yer my accent does change from not stayin put in past but im not a typical essex bird and u no it

[CreamyC]

dani_babyboo said:

i am not lying i say im not a bird u call me an essex bird now

 

yer my accent does change from not stayin put in past but im not a typical essex bird and u no it

 

Welcome to Essex, girl.

[NeoN]

[Dani Babyboo]

CreamyC said:

dani_babyboo said:

i am not lying i say im not a bird u call me an essex bird now

 

yer my accent does change from not stayin put in past but im not a typical essex bird and u no it

 

Welcome to Essex, girl.

 

why thank you lol

 

just be careful though i aint far from u i could stalk u

[Clubbing Si]

dani_babyboo said:

CreamyC said:

dani_babyboo said:

i am not lying i say im not a bird u call me an essex bird now

 

yer my accent does change from not stayin put in past but im not a typical essex bird and u no it

 

Welcome to Essex, girl.

 

why thank you lol

 

just be careful though i aint far from u i could stalk u

 

nope, stalkers are scary

[Dani Babyboo]

Clubbing_Si said:

dani_babyboo said:

CreamyC said:

dani_babyboo said:

i am not lying i say im not a bird u call me an essex bird now

 

yer my accent does change from not stayin put in past but im not a typical essex bird and u no it

 

Welcome to Essex, girl.

 

why thank you lol

 

just be careful though i aint far from u i could stalk u

 

nope, stalkers are scary

 

you wouldnt know