the meaning of chav

[EmmaBlu]

The Charva

 

The name originates from 19th Century parlance and, being used as a descriptive noun, was originally attributed to a prostitute. Later this gave rise to a verb whereby a person was 'charvered' or 'fucked', this in the context that the person in question was beaten up or generally antagonized by low-life. This then went full circle to describe the antagonist as a 'Charva'

 

This strange species can seem perfectly harmless until they are placed in their natural habitat.

 

The silverbacked charva (the alpha male) is superior to all other charva’s. Alpha male status usually arises from possession of the latest german cheese album; the other charva’s will form a protective ring around him.

 

These scourges plague the streets of most cities and may adopt different aliases, such as scally’s, townies or twats.

 

The male of the species will have short spiked hair, white socks pulled over the bottom of his Kappa tracksuit bottoms and rockport boots. They will pretend their voice is deep years before puberty takes place, which appears to be an effective mating call.

 

The female of the species will wear excessive amounts of makeup and huge (often plastic) earrings the size of the millennium wheel. They have a distinctively large fringe, obtained with the aid of half a can of hairspray, a hairdryer and a cylindrical object such as a coke can or anything with a similar diameter. If temperatures are above 0°C, they will feel inclined to wear a mini skirt which barely covers their hips. In sub–zero temperatures they are generally seen wearing tight 3 quarter length trousers, (usually pink or light blue in colour). This trait is not observed however during mating time.

When the male and female of the species meet, the male will put on a burberry cap, strategically worn at a 45° angle, in order to seem more attractive. Despite intense research, no evolutionary cause and effect for this courtship ritual can be firmly established. Within an hour, the two will have engaged in unprotected sex and conceived. Another teenage pregnancy, another scum bag to pay for in our taxes!

Charva’s will also force them selves to start smoking at the age of about 12, in order to establish their dominance and prove that they are “hard”. They are intimidated by anyone with an intellect surpassing that of a pencil.

 

The male charva adopts an interesting swagger when walking, which turns into a sway upon alcohol intoxication. His female counterpart adopts a similar but slightly more awkward swagger, due to the presence of her boyfriends hand down her underwear. It should be noted here that the wearing of knickers is slowly but surely being "phased out" amongst charvette’s as no evolutionary benefit is gained from their use.

 

Any human verbal interaction with these vermin will result in an absolutely moronic response such as "Hoo man! f*** off ya daft cunt!" when asked to rephrase their inadequately worded statement, the same, only slightly intensified response is observed.

 

No 'race', (other than their own), is acceptable. Any goths, punks, skaters or grungies are renamed to "tree huggers" or "hippys". They do not possess sufficient brain power to understand that they are in fact the worst scourge of this planet!

 

Without provocation, they will attack those smaller and than themselves when they are alone. However, they usually hunt in packs and hence will attempt to attack any out numbered opponent. This is in order to try and make themselves feel superior, and to try and impress the opposite sex.

 

Anomalies of Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest, their numbers are maintained by the in-breeding of charvae at around about the age of 14, bringing about a new generation of unloved ‘cabbages’. Due to the rapidly shrinking gene pool that creates charvae, the ‘quality’ DNA codes are being replaced with the less favourable ‘quantity’ DNA codes. This phenomenon means that vital learned behaviours such as, use of the brain and the ability to make money legally are being ‘phased out’. Pregnant Charvae foetus’ are now becoming more common due to the accelerated procreation rate of the species.

 

Charvae have a unique leaning curve, peaking at the age of 6. This is mirrored by their physical development, which hits an upper barrier of approximately 5’ 5’’ for Charva’s and 5’ 0’’ for Charvette’s.

 

Due to their unemployed status, they can be seen at anytime during the day or night. Do not attempt to make contact though, especially after 11:00 am, as any time after this, the temperament of this species enters a highly volatile state due do consumption of a six pack of special brew for their breakfasts.

 

The species has alwasy been a pest, but recently, due to their rapidly advancing numbers they are draining the economy of the country. Thus, a culling program has been proposed by by scientists whereby vats of Special Brew and Lambrusco are brewed as a method of administration of the HIV virus. The proposal is sound in theory as Charvae are the only species to consume these beverages, and due to their strict in-breeding habits their is no risk of the virus being passed on

[Guest]

Council House And Violant

[EmmaBlu]

YEAH THATS WICKED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Guest]

Can't Handle Anything Valuable

[EmmaBlu]

hahahahaha

[Phil rr]

QUOTE (Maria @ Oct 27 2004, 16:26)

Council House And ViolEnt

bless

[Pepsi]

Wats wrong with being a chav, I think you are all being a bit poncy, we dont all have as much money as you!!! Some of us can only afford £5 quid gold watches off the market.

[teabag]

I hate the word Chav

 

it's gay as fuck